Conversations

Talking to Ananke and Delilah

After eating a hearty breakfast, Balgair pushed away from the table and stood up.  “Delilah, I forgot to ask you something yesterday.”  When the bean-cheangail looked up, he inquired.  “What did your Maighstir wear to the office?” 

Delilah glanced over at her bond-sister before answering.  “He usually wore black cotton pants, a white shirt, and his cloak.”  She paused for a moment.  “He also had a formal suit for dress occasions.” 

Heather looked up from cleaning the breakfast dishes when she felt a deep calm from Balgair, who was staring vacantly into the distance. 

“Well, I don’t want to wear chainmail all day, and I don’t have my dress uniform with me.”  I can only hope that Nell and Amelia remember to pack it.  Balgair brushed his thumb across his lower lip. “I’m going to have to figure out something to wear.”  He blew out a slow breath, looking over to Heather and Delilah.  “Would Julius have what I need?” 

The dark-haired bean-cheangail bit her lip as she thought it over.  “Julius just might; if he doesn’t, our quartermaster will.” 

Balgair blinked.  Why didn’t I think of that?  The Reve, deputies, and town guard must be outfitted so they have a quartermaster.  “Okay, and the quartermaster is where?” 

Delilah chuckled, “I’ll show you, maighstir.” 

“Thank you,” he replied.  “I just need to jog back to my room and get dressed.”  I guess it’s going to be armor on the way in.  I can always leave the armor in the office or the landau. 

When he returned to the kitchen, he found Delilah waiting for him, but Heather was nowhere to be seen.  “I know Heather decided to stay here.  Do you know where she went?” 

“Yes, sir,” Delilah replied.  “She said something about bathing and going back to bed.”  She looked as if going back to bed was an indulgence. 

“Good for her.  She’s so worn out that she needs to rest.”  When Delilah quirked a brow, Balgair explained, “She hasn’t had much sleep since her parents were killed.  She didn’t mention it, but I think Brutus was stalking her, and she couldn’t sleep.”

Understanding dawned on Delilah’s face.   “I didn’t realize.  Didn’t her parents die right after our maighstir?”  She inquired of Aelwyn.

“I believe so.” The other woman said. “I remember her parents being buried a day or so after Dafyd and the deputies.”

“Poor girl,” Delilah crooned.  “She’s going to need a lot of sleep.”  She reached out and touched Balgair’s right hand.  “Aelwyn will keep an eye on her.”

The raven-tressed bean-cheangail nodded.  “I’ll make sure she’s okay, sir.”  Like her bond-sister, she reached out and touched Balgair. 

They need to be held and comforted.  Balgair could never be sure where that thought came from, but he instantly acted upon it, gathering both women into a hug. 

Delilah and Aelwyn snuggled tighter into him as his strength flowed across them.  Delilah was the first to push away, even as she reached up to brush the tears from her eyes.  “I miss him so much,” she muttered.

It took Aelwyn longer to let go of him, and when she did, she reached up and placed her hand over his heart.  “Thank you, maighstir Balgair.”  She couldn’t bring herself to raise her head.  “I don’t know what I will do without him.”  She sobbed.  “I just wish we could find another man like him.” 

We are going to have a long talk, My lady.  Balgair directed to his goddess.  I will probably get in trouble for this, but “If you give us a few weeks to settle in, you have my permission to bring it to my bannaichean.” 

Both women stared at him momentarily as if he had grown a second head.  Then, as one, they hugged him and pushed away from him.  “Are you sure?”  Delilah couldn’t believe what she heard.

“Why would you take us into your house?” Aelwyn was just as stunned. 

I must be insane, that’s why. Balgair was sure that he was losing his mind.  He shrugged, turning one hand palm up.  That’s it, I’ve gone crazy.  He just sighed when he heard laughter in the wind.  “I guess I just can’t stand to see women in pain.”  He had the decency to shake his head.  “I’ll just wait outside, in the landau.”  Then he made his escape.

Standing alone on the porch, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  “What are you trying to do to me, my lady?”

You are my favored champion, dearest Balgair.  There was a feeling of someone wrapping arms around him.  Am I asking more of you than you can give?

Balgair felt shame crawling along his skin.  “No,” he admitted.  “You have always given me more than I can use.” 

Is it an imposition for you to give to others?  The woman’s voice held no malice or anger.  She was just asking a question, and she already knew the answer. 

That shame threatened to make him sick, and he mumbled.  “No, M’Lady.”

He felt it as those phantom arms held him close.  It will be okay, My Balgair.  The goddess whispered. You will have time to reacquaint yourself with your Amelia and Nell.  You will also have time to let them get to know Heather.    Her voice turned soft, and love filtered along his soul.  Would it surprise you that Delilah and Aelwyn will wait as long as you need?  You’ve given them something that Sagartan couldn’t.  You’ve given them hope. 

Balgair heaved a deep sigh.  “I understand, my lady.”  I hope I’m ready for this.

When, a few minutes later, Delilah stepped out on the porch, she found Balgair standing there with his head bowed.  Instead of disturbing him, she stood there, watching him.  I wonder what he’s thinking.  The two stood silently until he looked at her and coughed. 

A slow smile crossed her lips, and she couldn’t help but ask, “Were you deep in thought?”

“No,” He replied, taking her hand.  “I was talking to Ananke.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Not praying?” 

Balgair shook his head, “Did you pray to Dafyd?” 

That question took her back, and she froze as she thought about it.  “No, but Dafyd wasn’t a god.”  She grinned playfully, “though being with him was awe-inspiring.” 

Balgair chuckled.  “My relationship with Ananke is more like,” he paused, thinking.  “I was going to say like mother and son, but it’s more like confidants.”  His eyes lit up with real happiness.  “I can tell her anything, and she cares for me.”  He grinned, “I guess that doesn’t make sense.”

It was Delilah’s turn to confess.  “It does, and I’ve always wanted a relationship like that.”  She looked into his eyes.  “Would Ananke… Could she … be as close to us as she is with you?” 

“I’ve never known Ananke to be anything but close.”  Balgair stated, “Your relationship with her would only be as good as what you put into it.”  He shrugged.  “Too many people, she’s just a goddess, an idea.  To those of us who know her, she’s family.” 

“Is she really that personable?” Delilah asked as she followed him to the landau. 

Balgair helped her into the wagon and climbed beside her.  “Ask Heather.  She got to meet Ananke in person.”  He got a faraway look in his eyes.  “I only get to talk to her.” 

Once they were settled, the driver looked back and inquired. “Where to, sir, the office?” 

“To the quartermaster’s office, then to my office,” Balgair stated. 

“Very well, sir.” 

Balgair and Delilah spent the ride into town making small talk and getting to know each other.

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